Power Through Communication [Patience In Conflict]

 Responding To Behavior That Makes You Feel Uncomfortable

Sometimes, certain behaviors make you feel uncomfortable. It could be the way that person looks at you or the way they invade your space. It could just be the way they talk that sets off alarm bells!

We’ve all had that feeling at one time or another. We’ve felt the hairs stand up on the back of our necks and our spines tingle with unease.

Yet, we can’t always just walk away or distance ourselves from that person. Many times, the person who makes us feel this way is someone you have to deal with quite often, like a colleague or a family member.

The bottom line is that, sooner or later, you’re going to find yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Yet, it’s how you handle yourself during that time that makes all the difference.

So, the next time you’re feeling uncomfortable, use these strategies to help you manage your feelings and reactions.

1. Pause Before Reacting

The rule of thumb for anyone in an uncomfortable situation is to stop, think, then act. The worst thing you can do is give a knee-jerk reaction. Trust us, it always ends badly.

So, to avoid letting the pressure of that awkward situation get to you, try to stay calm. If you can remove yourself from the situation, then go get some coffee or take a quick walk. This way, when you return, you’ll be able to look at the situation from a fresh perspective.

Yet, if you can’t walk away, then the best thing to do is focus on your breathing to help regulate your nervous system. As a result, you become less anxious and better prepared to handle the situation at hand.

Here’s how to practice deep breathing in just a few seconds:

• First, inhale slowly through your nose.
• When you feel your abdomen has expanded, hold your breath for a second or two.
• Next, exhale through your mouth.
• Repeat 4–5 times.
• Make a Joke (if the situation allows)

There’s a time and place for jokes, and, sometimes, they can be a great way to diffuse an uncomfortable situation.

This strategy works best when you trip as you’re heading into work, or you show up at work with your top inside out. When people see you laugh at your own snafus, they’ll most probably feel less tense and just quickly brush it off as an innocent blunder, then go on with their day.

Yet, it may not work as well in other more intense situations, like someone making an inappropriate comment at work about race or gender.

3. Diffuse the Situation

Using the same example as above, it might feel easier to just sweep the comment under the rug and hope everyone forgets about it.

But, let’s be honest, that will never happen. Ignoring a serious situation like that will just fester like an open wound and it’ll get worse with time.

The most effective way to deal with something like that is to acknowledge what was said. Just make sure you pick the right time to talk about it when you’re sure everyone involved won’t become emotional or storm out in fury.

Explain to the person who made the comment— in very plain terms—how this may come across as offensive or demeaning. Most likely, the person will probably apologize, not realizing they’ve put their foot in their mouth.

If not, then at least you’ll have voiced your concerns in a calm and mature way.

4. Enjoy the Silence

In our experience, most uncomfortable situations are accompanied by deadly silence. You know the kind when you can hear your blood pumping through your veins, that kind of silence.

According to a study done by the University of Groningen, people start to feel uncomfortable after only four seconds of silence. Add to that an already awkward situation and things get even more unnerving.

Yet, if all that quiet seems disturbing, trying to fill it can be even worse! You start to panic because you feel the pressure of all that silence.

The key to getting past the awkwardness is to simply allow yourself to revel in the silence for a bit. Let your mind wander about what just happened and run through a couple of scenarios of all the possible things you could say.

Avoid blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. Those comments are usually ill-thought-out and we regret them as soon as they’ve been said.

5. Act Confident

You know that saying ‘fake it till you make it?’ That certainly works here.

Most of us feel insecure about specific things about ourselves even when we’re crushing it at home and at work. Then, we slip up or someone makes us feel uncomfortable for some reason and all those insecurities get multiplied by a thousand!

It’s times like these when it pays to have a role model or someone you look up to. It could be one of your more self-assured friends, a manager at work, or even a fictional character from a TV series. Imagine how they’d react if they were in the same situation and take inspiration from their response.

This tactic is a great way to ease you out of an uncomfortable situation. Not only that, but it’ll also help you disconnect from your insecurities so you can see the situation from a more objective viewpoint.

#Communication #Confidence #Success